Stuck in the 80s
How stuck are you? If you can agree with most of these situations, then you may very well be Stuck In The 80s for good.
If you still own a crimping iron and stock up on Aqua Net and blue eye shadow.
If your boss asks you a question you can’t answer, or don’t want to, you must resist the urge to ask for the physical challenge.
If you pick up the telephone and somebody asks “Who you gonna call?” you shout “Ghostbusters!” and then have to finish the song before you can even think about carrying on with your day.
If your weekend party outfit includes fingerless lace gloves, a giant hair bow, and layers of beaded necklaces, complete with crucifix.
If you still use 80s slang phrases like “gag me with a spoon,” “like, totally,” “gnarly,” “totally tubular,” “grody,” “grody to the max,” “rad,” “awesome,” or any combination of these words excessively, you’re, like, totally stuck in the 80s. That’s rad.
If your hairdresser can’t stop laughing long enough to actually give you the Flock of Seagulls haircut you want.
If you still get perms.
If your bangs block you from walking through doorways.
If you decide to go out for the night and the only things you want to do is go roller skating or to the arcade. Then you realize your town doesn’t have either, so you stay home and watch “Back to the Future.”
If you still peg your acid washed jeans and pop your collar.
If you’re watching a special about Egypt on television and you can’t help but belt out “Walk like an Egyptian.”
If you still know every lyric to The New Kids on the Block songs and are still convinced that their song “Cover Girl” was all about you.
If you’re still trying to solve the Rubik’s Cube.
If you are still waiting for a performance from Tiffany to show up at a mall near you.
If you taught your daughter all the words to ‘Electric Youth,” and you are still hunting for a bottle of the Electric Youth perfume.
If you still consider yourself a member of the club – and your Members Only jacket proves it.
If you’re still rocking a mullet.
If you can’t look at Matthew Broderick as anything but Ferris Bueller…Bueller…Bueller.
If you still do the ‘Truffle Shuffle.’
If you show the kids how to wax the car by using the ‘wax on, wax off’ technique… next up, they learn to paint the fence. And you call them ‘Grasshopper.’
If you find yourself facing a home repair nightmare – as you clutch a roll of duct tape in one hand and a Swiss army knife in the other – and the first thing you think is, “What would MacGyver do?”
If you seriously consider taking out a second mortgage to purchase and trick out a DeLorean.
If your neighbor shouts out “Wow, I almost couldn’t see you there!” sarcastically while you run to the mailbox in your oversized neon T-shirt and leggings…
…Then you might be stuck in the 80s. There’s nothing wrong with it – stay loud, proud, and totally awesome.